A Friday afternoon soppy poem, while he sleeps…

One crooked smile,

Two skinny feet,

Three kisses in the morning,

Four legs between our sheets.

Five cookies with your coffee,

Six towels to wash a week,

Seven nights of warmth and closeness,

Eight remotes for the TV (!)

Nine times out of ten, you turn my mouth into a smile

Its on your love that I am counting, it makes everything worthwhile.

I love you bubz,

Jodie

x

Playing with Traffic … The Ultimate Experiment.

So… ya mamma told ya never to play with the traffic eh?  Times have changed.

I posted a viral marketing post on Facebook.

See here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=31196706272

The idea is to see what viral marketing can REALLY do for a website.

I also said.. that after getting 100,000 visitors to my site, I WILL (a promise is a promise) do something wild online (but not obscene)… 

Pls, add your comments below on what that wild thing should be… and we’ll see. 

Use your minds, go crazy, knock yourselves out. I am wide open to ideas.

jodie

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From 5 to 28,000 visitors… in less than 60 seconds… (and back again) :(

What AM I Yadda-ing on ABOUT?

Lemme tell ya.

I have had this blog for ages. Eons.  Well, er, at least 7 months or so. At first I was all Gung-ho (is that how you spell that?).  All excited, you know - the novelty and all that… I had visions of millions of readers, a mention by the pope, the Pulitzer prize and potentially, even the Nobel Peace Prize in my oh-so-near future.

After coming back down to earth with a resounding clang big enough to bruise my ego, if not my secret craving for fame, fortune and all things hideously evil (but oh-so satisfying)… I came to a very slow and painful realization…

I have an average of 5 readers a day; one of them is my friend sharon and the other four are probably my mother.

So - after choking down that jagged little pill, how on EARTH did I end up with 28,000 readers in one day you ask?

Well, I can tell you for one thing… it had absolutely….. undoubtedy….. NADA to do with my writing talent.

Ya. Sad, but true.

You see, a long time ago, a friend sent me a joke. I posted that joke. About six  months later, someone read that joke on my blog and then posted it on Reddit.com and Stumbleupon.com and ….Voila, Bob’s your uncle, Fanny’s your Aunt… there you have it - 28,000 readers. Thank you very much, my work here, is done.

Well, as you can imagine… 28000 readers in one day is something to get VERY excited about (joke or no joke)… but here, the story gets even sadder (feel free to grab your nearest kleenex, toilet roll or corner of table cloth)…

Just as quckly as they came… they went. Woosh. It was all over before I could say Jack Robinson, let alone Bob’s your uncle.  However, I still had hope in my heart, oh yes. Each day I crept into google analytics with the faint hope that maybe, just MAYBE someone who came to view my joke, might just discover my most fabulous talentedness and send it to everyone they know on face book.

It could happen, couldn’t it?

(Couldn’t it?)

It didn’t.

Sharon, I’ll see you on Friday for breakfast and mum… stop reading my blog (!!!).

… And then, there was 1.

The London Underground Song (A CLASSSSSIC!) - Explicit - don’t say I didn’t warn you…!

Vapour (Poem I wrote about four months ago - and forgot about)

It occured to me,

One Tuesday at 3 o’clock

 - In between guitar strings

And songs not yet played

And hastily eaten sandwiches

Gulped down over slow conversation.

One sparkly Tuesday,

At 3 O’clock…

 - It occured to me,

That you had not been present

In my mind

For a while.

It occured to me

On that bustling day

Between taxi’s and phone calls

And haircuts and unsmoked cigarettes

That what time could not erase

Circumstance can.

It occured to me

That I should be relieved

At the new space

In my lungs where a stone

Once was.

It occured to me

That you were like the lifeforce of water

Now, melted.

Vapour.

Gone.

12 Tips for Living Magically

Sooooo. I have been swirling this post around in my head for a while.

Of late, and forever, most probably, I have been philosophying (is that a word?) and deliberating what it truly IS that makes us (and me, in particular) happy.

So here it is - MY mantra for a truly lovely jubbly, happy pappy life:

1. Love, Love and then Love Some More.

Love everyone. Love your boss. Love your co-workers. Love your friends. Love your partner. LOVE your life. TELL your partner how much you love them, particularly, for no particular reason. Love your friends - to death. Tell them. Oh, and leave everything you don’t love - behind.

2. Get it off your Chest. Tell People How you Feel.

This point is similar ot the first, but not quite. You feel something positive for someone? Tell them. “You look beautiful in that” can just about make someone’s millenium. “You made a difference in my life” said to the right person, might just make your own day. We can’t say these words when we are gone. Say everything you EVER wanted to say, to EVERYONE - with wild abandon. Today. Don’t mind looking foolish. Don’t mind seeming silly. Just say it - and say it now, while you can.

3. Give a little. Get a lot.

Giving. The absolute number ONE key to happiness. Give at every opportunity. Be more concerned with what you give than what you get. Give for no reason. Just give, because its good to give. Be UNREASONABLE… Someone needs you? Don’t have time? Make time. Give love, give time, give kindness, give a smile to the security guard freezing his butt off at that restaurant you just ate the ribs at… Give, give and give again. Think not what can I get out of this job, friendship, relationship… but what can I GIVE here? It pays HUGE dividends.

4. Love the Skin You are In.

Ass too big, tummy to flabby? Never mind. Do what you can, then forget it. Love your body. Find a way to really LOVE sex. Go crazy. Experience everything. Wear that short skirt, crazy shirt, funky jacket that no-one else likes. Experiment. Break out of your comfort zone. Never, ever, EVER beat yourself up for something you didn’t succeed at. Be your own best friend. Be your best possible you - always.  Eat well. Eat healthy most of the time and then - eat that GIANT fatty hamburger you really love, sometimes.  Its good for the soul.

5. Love your Day.

This has got to be one of the most important routes to happiness. LOVE your day. Wake up in the morning and jump out of bed to a day you really love. Don’t love your job? Find what you do like about it and concentrate on it. Can’t do that? Leave. Life is short.  Can’t afford to leave? Have a two year plan. Think where you want to be in two years and live it - now. If you can’t make it happen right now - focus on that. That will give you meaning and help you love your day.

6. Clear Up & Clean Out.

It’s shocking that I am the one writing this as I have been known to be a junk hoarder. Clean out all your junk. Your old clothes - give them away. Your old jewellery - give it away. Your old everything that’s just gathering dust - GIVE IT AWAY or throw it out. Its sooooooooooo liberating!  (You can leave your desk messy - nobody’s perfect:)

7. Get Passionate - Recreation Rules.

Find something that pops your shutter, puts a spring in your step, makes your heart sing. Like guitar? Play it like a feind.  Fancy a bit of Theater? Get a membership.  Secret shower singer? Sign up for voice coaching. In short - approach your hobbies with a mission. Make them part of your life. You’ll smile a whole lot more. It’s true :)

8. Remember, Your Parent’s are Only People.

Yeah, yeah. Parent baggage. It’s probably the most significant thing keeping us from being truly free. They may have been crap, but they are only people. Accept it, Forgive it.  Then - forget it. It’s only dragging behind you like a ten ton weight if you don’t. No positive shit is coming out of that one, my friends. Drop it. Move on. Time’s a-waisting.

9. Leave the Past - Behind.

Well, it took me a LIFETIME (almost) to get this one. Lost loves? Dead and done with. You can only be the person you were, at the time you were there. If you understand that - you’re a better man (or woman) than I. Got regrets, made mistakes? Want to shoot yourself in the head? Ah, forget it. You did your best at the time, with the knowledge you had back then. What’s in the past is over. Build your dream life today. The rest is history. Oh, and do yourself a favour - stop looking for happiness around the corner, grow it under your feet.

10. Live in a Place you Love.

Hate the cold? Don’t go live in Finland, no matter how big the work opportunity. Live in a city/town/area you really really REALLY love. There’s nothing like leaving your house in the morning with that buzz in your heart and head that says - wow, I LOVE this place. It’s true quality of life.

11. Money - Only a Means to an End.

Love money? Love to live the highlife? Fabulous - but don’t make it your demon and don’t let it own YOU. Love what you have NOW. If you’ve got no money and you want it - work hard. If you have money and you lose it all - forget it. You’ll proabably make it again. We have a habit of being exactly where we need to be.

12. Breathe Out. Make Time for You.

Find time every day… for you. Even if its just sitting on the sofa reading the news. If that’s what gives you ‘you’ time - do it. Switch off the telly. It’s a distraction. It takes up too much space and makes too much noise. Lie in bed at night and smile before you go to sleep - you’ll wake up happier.  Get in touch with your inner voice… in the car, on the toilet, wherever - you know it’s there - stop drowning it out - it’s probably giving you the best advice you ever heard.

So - that’s it - my 12 tips for a magical life.

Don’t like it? Well.. I love you anyway… love, love and love some more  - remember? ;)

An anecdote… that just popped into my mind…

‘True peace is the ability to feel the deepest of things, in the quietest of moments.’

 Jodie C.

Rainy Day Saturday’s

So. It’s been ages since I last wrote.

I’ve been BUSY. Busy, busy, busy.

I finally got myself a life.

I’ve been too busy being shockingly, and exceptionally happy, in the surprisingly real-ist of ways, to even remember that I had a blog. Yeah.

Bring it on.

Anyhoo, breaking blog rule number 1 (according to some)… if you ‘aint got nothing  to say, don’t write about it.   No-one wants to read that you have nothing to say now, DO THEY?

 :)

I don’t have anything spectacularly funny to write… but I am at this very moment sitting in Neve Tzedek, while the ‘best thing that probably ever happened to me’… sits next to me, working.

It’s been a bit of a habit of ours for the last six weeks or so. He has work to do on a Saturday… I have freelance stuff.  So, we do it together over coffee and lunch.  It’s kinda cool.  We like it. Its comforting, like a warm pair of old familiar slippers. Much like he is to me.

He just turned to me and told me that its REALLY raining outside. Funny. I just wrote that in the title of this entry. I said ‘ maybe I should write about winning the lottery instead?’.

Ha. Ha. Ha.  (I CRACK myself up). Not.

Anyhoo, here we sit.. him all ‘worky worky’ and me all, ‘romatic-y’ sititing inside in the warm cosy coffee place, looking at the rain outside and enjoying the FUCKING EXCEPTIONAL music they have on here.

The waiters looking at us must think that we are SUCH GEEKS. Me and him - sitting side by side… staring into our computer screens. 

We probably are. But right now, I could care less. Infact, right now, I don’t much care about anything. I am way too ‘floaty, floaty’, ’smiley smiley’ to give a damn if my house burned down, computer and all.

Anyhoo, that’s all I have to say really. So - if you don’t like it - you can kiss my ….

Well, you can kiss my rainy day Saturday.

Sigh.

:) :) :)

If you… (random poem)

If you… never say,

I’ll never know.

If you… always stay,

I might not go.

If you… sometimes risk

What you don’t want to show,

I won’t pass judgment,

I’ll just let it be so.